Sharing child custody requires constant communication and cooperation. Parents should (usually) make every reasonable effort to comply with the order entered by the courts. They should regularly exchange custody and talk with one another before making major decisions about their children.
As families adapt after a divorce or separation, custody orders can become increasingly out of date. Parents may need to make adjustments to their schedules and to the overall allocation of parenting time. When minor disruptions arise, parents can communicate directly and make adjustments on demand.
However, if they have to commit to a significant shift in their regular arrangements, such as altering the percentage of overnight time the children have with the parents, then informal custody adjustments may not be the best option available.
The possibility of enforcement
While parents may have a verbal agreement to change their parenting schedule or to grant one parent more time with the children, technically the custody order is still in place. Either parent could theoretically go to court asking for enforcement support.
In some cases, a parent with malicious intentions might agree to let the other parent extend their time with the children. They could then involve law enforcement authorities by alleging that a parental kidnapping may have occurred. The courts and police officers generally have to defer to the custody order unless there is clear evidence that the parents have communicated about a matter and reached an alternate arrangement.
The potential impact on support
The other reason that parents may want to formally adjust their custody orders when they change the overall division of parenting time is that those changes could influence financial support obligations. Child support orders reflect numerous details about the family situation.
The percentage of overnight parenting time and the income of both adults are key considerations. If one parent takes on far more overnight time than the custody order acknowledges, they might have an obligation to pay an unfair amount of support or may not receive nearly enough support given the circumstances.
If parents can cooperate on custody adjustments, pursuing an uncontested custody modification can be a relatively simple process with the right legal help. Working with a family law attorney to modify custody orders as necessary can help parents protect themselves and maintain a stable co-parenting arrangement.
The property distribution portion of a divorce is often the most contentious. This is particularly true for high-net-worth individuals with complex assets, such as real estate investments. The family home is often an important part of this portion of the financial portfolio, but it may also include vacation and investment properties.
Any couple with real estate investments is wise to ask the following before finalizing their divorce.
#1: Is the property marital or separate?
The first step is to determine the status of the property. Family law matters like divorce are guided by state law, so the location of the divorce matters. If the divorce is in Virginia, the law treats real estate acquired during the marriage as marital property, subject to equitable distribution. This means the courts generally consider any real estate bought during the marriage with marital funds, regardless of whose name is on the title, a joint asset.
The courts may deem gifted or inherited property as separate property if it was not commingled with marital assets.
#2: What is the value of the property?
Establishing a fair market value for real estate is important to better ensure an equitable distribution. This often requires professional appraisals. There are many different valuation options, and in some cases, it is helpful to get more than one estimation before proceeding.
#3: What is the cost to maintain the property?
Keeping any form of real estate is about more than the initial cost. It is important to also take regular maintenance costs into account. This can include upkeep like lawn care and cleaning, as well as the potential need to replace appliances or structural components like the roof. Also, keep any homeowner’s association fees and taxes in mind when putting together an estimate of the cost to keep the property.
#4: What is the cost to sell the property in the future?
There are additional expenses for those who choose to keep property only to sell it in the future. Capital gains, for example, may apply.
#5: How can I protect these assets?
Protecting your real estate investments prior to or during a divorce requires strategic planning. Those discussing a divorce or believing a divorce could be in their future could consider a postnuptial agreement. Similar to prenuptial agreements, these agreements can outline how to handle real estate assets in the event of a divorce. Another option is the use of buy-out agreements. These involve one spouse buying out the other’s interest in the property, giving one party full ownership of the asset.
These five questions provide a starting point for determining how to best manage real estate investments during a divorce. It is important to carefully review the details of your situation and discuss the benefits and risks of each option. This will help mitigate the risk of surprises after the divorce is finalized.
A business owned by a married individual may be a family’s main source of income. It is also a valuable asset in addition to being a source of revenue. As an asset, it is potentially vulnerable to division when the owner divorces.
Some business owners and professionals who run their own professional practices assume that they can claim their businesses as separate property because they hold them solely in their own names. However, there are many scenarios in which businesses may actually be vulnerable to division even though they may initially seem like separate property.
What constitutes separate property?
People generally do not have to divide assets that they owned before marriage or acquired after officially separating from their spouse. They can also preserve any gifts or inherited property as their own resources in a divorce.
Many times, businesses might represent an investment a professional made before getting married. Other times, they may have inherited the business from a loved one or received their ownership interest as a gift when a family member retired.
While the owner may hope to protect the business as separate property, doing so can be a challenge. Those who have marital agreements, including prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, have the easiest time preserving businesses as separate property if they addressed the business in the initial contract.
Otherwise, people have to establish when they assumed ownership of the business. They also have to prove that no commingling occurred. Doing so can be prohibitively difficult, as it is quite common to use income earned during the marriage to maintain or improve the company.
People also frequently rely on their spouses to provide unpaid labor to help run the business. Whether a spouse cleaned toilets or issued paychecks using accounting software, their labor could give them an interest in the business.
Any commingling that occurs during a marriage makes at least a portion of the value of the business vulnerable during divorce proceedings. Those who hope to retain sole ownership of their businesses may need help reviewing financial records and negotiating with their spouses. With the right approach, it may be possible to protect the company or at least limit the loss of equity during divorce negotiations.
Setting realistic property division goals is crucial for those preparing for complex divorce proceedings. Divorcing business owners often prioritize preserving a company that they rely on for income above other assets that they may have to divide during divorce.
When parents with children divorce, they generally have to work out a way to share custody with each other. They either negotiate their own parenting arrangements or ask a judge to divide parental rights and responsibilities between them.
Custody arrangements tend to be vastly different from one case to the next. The needs of the children, the dynamic they have with the parents and even the careers of the adults can influence how parents share responsibility for their children after a divorce. Certain family scenarios lead to far more serious co-parenting challenges.
If one parent is a military servicemember, their service can create unique challenges for shared parental responsibilities. Military couples preparing for divorce may need to address the three unique concerns below when establishing a custody arrangement.
Standard and deployment custody arrangements
While both parents remain near one another and readily accessible, shared custody is easy to facilitate. The non-military spouse and servicemember can regularly exchange custody. They can both be present for important events. When the military spouse faces deployment or must travel for specialized training, their standard custody arrangements may no longer work. The parents may need to specifically establish separate plans for during deployment and when both parents are near each other.
The need for virtual visitation
During deployments or training, a service number may not be in the same country or time zone as their children. They may spend months far from home and unable to physically spend time with their children. During that time, virtual visitation via video conferencing software can help preserve the bond that they have with their children. The family’s deployment custody arrangements often need to include rules for virtual visitation, regular phone calls and even letter writing. A combination of different communication methods can help a military servicemember stay actively involved with their children.
The emotional needs of the children
Divorce and shared custody are difficult for children even in the simplest of scenarios. When they have to also experience lengthy disruptions to the family schedule because of a parent’s military service, they may have a hard time healing. Support groups and therapy may be necessary to help children and young adults handle the strong emotions that arise because of their current family circumstances. Parents may have to arrange ahead of time to secure counseling services or otherwise access support. They can agree ahead of time to provide the children with certain forms of support should they struggle.
A couple that plans ahead of time can negotiate for custody arrangements that truly address the unique needs of their family. Recognizing how military service can complicate custody arrangements can help parents address predictable challenges.
Obtaining a custody order is crucial for the protection of parental rights after a divorce or breakup. It is common for the courts to establish a temporary order as soon as someone files initial paperwork and then a final order after a more thorough review of family circumstances.
Once the courts have approved a final custody order, the parents in the family need to uphold that order to the best of their abilities. They generally need to communicate with one another about major decisions and exchange custody on time as outlined in the order. Sometimes, parents realize that their custody arrangements no longer meet the needs of the family. They may then want to obtain a custody modification.
What are the necessary steps for formally modifying a Virginia custody order?
Discussions with a co-parent
One of the first stages in custody modification involves communication. When a custody order has become outdated, parents might agree about the need for a modification. The entire process can be very quick and simple if they move forward with an uncontested modification together. The parents can submit paperwork to the courts requesting an update of the custody order. If they do not agree, then additional steps may be necessary.
Validating eligibility for a modification
Uncontested custody modifications are theoretically possible any time that parents agree that changes are necessary to make a custody order work. However, Virginia law imposes limits on contested or litigated modifications. Typically, they are only an option when there has been a substantial change in family circumstances. The parent requesting the modification needs to look carefully at the situation to affirm that family relationships or schedules have changed enough to warrant a custody hearing.
Establishing specific modification requests
The parent filing a request for a modification hearing typically needs to include details about the terms that do not work for their family and the changes they would like to see made to the custody order. They may also need to put together evidence supporting their claim that those changes are in the best interests of their children. Depending on the reasoning behind the modification request and the types of changes suggested, evidence could vary from medical records to police reports.
Pursuing a formal custody modification can be a lengthy process, but it can also potentially improve custody arrangements for a family. Parents who know what custody modifications require may feel more confident about going back to family court to adjust their co-parenting arrangements.
How long does a divorce take?
Divorce is a significant life event, and it is natural to wonder how long the process will take. While the exact time it takes for a divorce to become final depends on a variety of factors and circumstances specific to each case, there is a general timeline that parties usually must follow in Virginia.
Separation period
The law in Virginia requires divorcing parties to live separately before filing for a no-fault divorce. A no-fault divorce is the dissolution of a marriage that does not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party. In no-fault cases:
- The couple must separate for 6 months if they do not have children.
- The couple must separate for 1 year if they have children.
During this separation period, both individuals must live apart (separated) with no cohabitation or reconciliation attempts.
At-fault grounds
In an at-fault divorce, besides the above, the filing party must allege one or more of the following grounds for divorce:
- Adultery
- Cruelty and fear of harm
- Desertion/abandonment
- Felony conviction with prison time of 1+ years
In a no-fault divorce, the individual filing does not have to allege any grounds for divorce. However, the couple must have separated for the periods of time stated above.
Filing for divorce
After the separation period, either spouse can file for divorce. This process officially begins with filing a complaint for divorce with the court.
Serving papers
After filing for divorce, the spouse who filed must notify the other party by giving them divorce papers. A sheriff, a private process server or certified mail are the three ways to serve divorce papers to the other party. The court prohibits any other method.
After serving the other party, the court allows that party enough time to respond to the divorce complaint.
Negotiations and mediation
During this time, the spouses can negotiate or mediate any issues that may come up. This phase allows couples to work through problems using professionals, like a mediator or attorney, to work through matters like property division, spousal support, and child custody. How long this phase takes depends on the complexity of the issues and how contentious the divorce is.
Court hearings
There could be one or many court hearings, depending on whether the divorce is contested or uncontested (contested means that the party does not agree to the divorce). In addition, clients must take into consideration the court’s schedule and caseload, which can affect the timing of the hearings.
Final Decree of Divorce
Once the parties agree on their issues or the court decides for them, the court issues a Final Decree of Divorce. This is the legal document that officially ends the marriage. After the court makes the divorce official, the parties must comply with what is in the Decree (for example, the transfer of property from one party to another or other orders stipulated by the court.)
It is important to note that the divorce process in Virginia can be faster for uncontested cases. The divorce process takes longer when the case is contested. Cooperating with each other and having the willingness to work through issues and negotiate in good faith can also help speed up the process.
Certain aspects of divorce tend to make people very anxious about the idea of ending a marriage. For example, many people worry about the financial implications of divorce because they have heard a story wherein someone lost their home or other valuable assets in what seems to be a very unfair property division decree.
It is important to remember that many people exaggerate or overtly misrepresent details of their divorce out of embarrassment or a desire to make their former spouse look like a villain. Those who are familiar with Virginia’s property division rules will probably feel more confident about filing divorce paperwork or responding to a spouse’s filing, as these rules strive for fairness.
Virginia has an equitable distribution rule
There is never any certainty regarding how the courts might divide personal property in a divorce, as a judge must interpret the circumstances to decide what is appropriate. The law in Virginia requires an equitable division of marital property, which means a fair solution. Spouses will need to disclose their financial circumstances to one another and the courts. A judge will then apply state law to the marital estate of those divorcing via a litigated process.
A judge must help couples split up the income they earned while married and also the property they purchased during that time in a fair manner. What is fair for one couple would be wildly inappropriate for the next. Therefore, judges need to look at factors including current income levels, separate property, health concerns and even custody arrangements when deciding how to divide marital property in an equitable manner.
Debts can play as big of a role as major assets. Judges can order either spouse to take on some of the marital debt to balance the division of property. They can also order the sale of assets to pay off marital debts in some cases. Although there is never a guarantee about how exactly the courts will divide property, people can expect solutions that prioritize fairness for both spouses.
Learning more about the rules that apply during divorce proceedings could help people develop more realistic expectations and more effective legal strategies. Many people opt, for example, to pursue uncontested divorce proceedings so that they can control the outcome of their property division situation.
Virginians from all backgrounds run businesses. Someone who goes to school for psychiatry or dentistry might open their own professional practice after securing state licensing. Adults may also have learned a hands-on trade that ran in their family, which led to them taking over the family plumbing business. People even start franchises as a way of running their own businesses and supporting a family.
However someone becomes a business owner, the company that they own and operate will likely be one of their most valuable personal assets. It will also potentially complicate a divorce, regardless of whether their spouse is directly involved in the company or not.
The business’s value can affect property division
Often, professionals start the businesses that they run during their marriages. Any amount contributed to the business while married can lead to claims of the company being marital property. Financial contributions from the other spouse and unpaid labor that they perform for the company could also open the organization up to risk during the property division process in the Virginia divorce.
Business owners will need to clarify what their business is worth and how much of the company’s value is marital property. They may then have to negotiate with their spouse carefully to create a property division arrangement that will protect their interest in the company.
Future revenue can influence support obligations
Both spousal support and child support depend in no small degree on the income of both spouses and their ability to pay support. When one spouse has given up earning potential to help the other focus on developing a company, they may sometimes have a claim to at least rehabilitative spousal support during the divorce.
It is often ideal for the family for the business owner to retain ownership and control of the company, but they may have to make payments to their spouse or make property division concessions elsewhere. When judges decide how to divide property and whether to award support, they will look at the totality of the family circumstances, including each spouse’s ability to run the business and outside employment opportunities, when deciding what to do with a company during the property division process.
Recognizing how business ownership can complicate Virginia divorces can help those who are preparing for negotiations or hearings in the family court better assert their rights with the assistance of an experienced legal professional.
How does the 20/20/20 rule work in military divorce?
As the spouse of a U.S. military member, you have for years relied on certain benefits just like all others who are married to members of the armed forces. Health care benefits are among the most critical.
However, now that you and your spouse go through a divorce, you wonder whether you may still be able to have access to certain benefits. This worries you. Well, you will continue to have benefits as long as you qualify under the 20/20/20 rule.
Continue to get certain military-related benefits
Under this rule, the former spouses of military members may continue to have access to medical coverage through Tricare – the U.S. Department of Defense’s military health care system – along with on-base shopping privileges at exchanges and commissaries.
In addition, former spouses also may qualify for certain retirement benefits.
Explaining the rule
But what is the 20/20/20 rule? And how does one qualify for it?
Any former spouse of a military member will qualify for specific benefits as long as these three critical components are in place:
- The couple must have been married for at least 20 years.
- The enlisted spouse must have served a minimum of 20 years of military service, creditable toward retirement.
- The spouse’s military service and the couple’s marriage must overlap for a minimum of 20 years
By understanding the details of the 20/20/20 rule you will gain some peace of mind.
Make sure you qualify
As your long-term commitment to this relationship ends, you must protect yourself. Throughout this marriage, you have made many sacrifices through cross-country and global relocations, career adjustments and explanations to your children. The 20/20/20 rule represents the protection you need as long as you qualify.
The surprising benefits of divorce
Nobody is going to deny that divorce can be painful. Even couples that aim to “consciously uncouple” and hope for a peaceful divorce go through their own share of frustration, grief and fear over the future.
But, contrary to common belief, divorce isn’t all bad. In fact, once you make it through the divorce process (and a bit of a mourning period), you may find that there are some surprising benefits to flying solo again. For example:
You may regain a sense of personal identity
Every marriage requires compromises, and relationships take time. When you look back on what you gave up in order to make room in your life for your spouse, you may find yourself slowly picking up new hobbies or redefining your style. Or, you may feel free to explore your own identity and interests in ways that you couldn’t do while married. That can ultimately make for a much happier you!
You may become a better parent
If your children are still minors, you may worry about how the divorce will affect them – but kids do pretty well if the parental conflict is kept to a minimum. In fact, your relationship with your children may thrive in unexpected ways because:
- You won’t be wasting energy on a doomed relationship and all the tensions and squabbles that go along with that. That will give you more energy to focus on the kids.
- You get some down time, since your co-parent will have the kids up to 50% of the time. That gives you a chance to pursue your hobbies or relax a little. When the kids come back, that respite can also help you be more focused on their wants and needs.
You may find yourself far less lonely
You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely. In fact, being stuck in a house every evening and weekend with a spouse to whom you no longer feel connected can create a terrible sense of loneliness. Once you’re no longer married, you’re free to seek out the company of people who engage with you, wether that’s emotionally, intellectually or intimately.
If it’s time to get a divorce, find out more about how to get started and what you can do to minimize problems during the process.
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