Nobody is going to deny that divorce can be painful. Even couples that aim to “consciously uncouple” and hope for a peaceful divorce go through their own share of frustration, grief and fear over the future.
But, contrary to common belief, divorce isn’t all bad. In fact, once you make it through the divorce process (and a bit of a mourning period), you may find that there are some surprising benefits to flying solo again. For example:
You may regain a sense of personal identity
Every marriage requires compromises, and relationships take time. When you look back on what you gave up in order to make room in your life for your spouse, you may find yourself slowly picking up new hobbies or redefining your style. Or, you may feel free to explore your own identity and interests in ways that you couldn’t do while married. That can ultimately make for a much happier you!
You may become a better parent
If your children are still minors, you may worry about how the divorce will affect them – but kids do pretty well if the parental conflict is kept to a minimum. In fact, your relationship with your children may thrive in unexpected ways because:
- You won’t be wasting energy on a doomed relationship and all the tensions and squabbles that go along with that. That will give you more energy to focus on the kids.
- You get some down time, since your co-parent will have the kids up to 50% of the time. That gives you a chance to pursue your hobbies or relax a little. When the kids come back, that respite can also help you be more focused on their wants and needs.
You may find yourself far less lonely
You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely. In fact, being stuck in a house every evening and weekend with a spouse to whom you no longer feel connected can create a terrible sense of loneliness. Once you’re no longer married, you’re free to seek out the company of people who engage with you, wether that’s emotionally, intellectually or intimately.
If it’s time to get a divorce, find out more about how to get started and what you can do to minimize problems during the process.