What are the steps for modifying a child custody order in Virginia?

Sharing child custody requires constant communication and cooperation. Parents should (usually) make every reasonable effort to comply with the order entered by the courts. They should regularly exchange custody and talk with one another before making major decisions about their children. As families adapt after a divorce or separation, custody orders can become increasingly out of date. Parents may need to make adjustments to their schedules and to the overall allocation of parenting time. When minor disruptions arise, parents can communicate directly and make adjustments on demand. However, if they have to commit to a significant shift in their regular arrangements, such as altering the percentage of overnight time the children have with the parents, then informal custody adjustments may not be the best option available. The possibility of enforcement While parents may have a verbal agreement to change their parenting schedule or to grant one parent more time with the children, technically the custody order is still in place. Either parent could theoretically go to court asking for enforcement support. In some cases, a parent with malicious intentions might agree to let the other parent extend their time with the children. They could then involve law enforcement authorities by alleging that a parental kidnapping may have occurred. The courts and police officers generally have to defer to the custody order unless there is clear evidence that the parents have communicated about a matter and reached an alternate arrangement. The potential impact on support The other reason that parents may want to formally adjust their custody orders when they change the overall division of parenting time is that those changes could influence financial support obligations. Child support orders reflect numerous details about the family situation. The percentage of overnight parenting time and the income of both adults are key considerations. If one parent takes on far more overnight time than the custody order acknowledges, they might have an obligation to pay an unfair amount of support or may not receive nearly enough support given the circumstances. If parents can cooperate on custody adjustments, pursuing an uncontested custody modification can be a relatively simple process with the right legal help. Working with a family law attorney to modify custody orders as necessary can help parents protect themselves and maintain a stable co-parenting arrangement.

Ending a relationship with the other parent of your children will likely be a stressful process. Both of you may experience intense emotions, and you may fight over things that had never been issues previously. It is quite normal for those going through a rough breakup or a divorce to worry about the custody outcome for their family. Most people have heard horror stories from co-workers or on social media about a parent who loses touch with their children because of an unfair custody order. You shouldn’t feel trapped in an unhealthy marriage just because you love your children and worry about losing access to them. Do you have to worry about your ex receiving preferential treatment in your Virginia custody case? Neither parent has more rights than the other Contrary to what some people think happens in child custody proceedings, there is no institutional bias against either of the parents. The judge making decisions about a parenting plan doesn’t give one parent preference over the other. The custody laws in Virginia do not even discuss the genders or roles of the individual parents. Instead, the law uses neutral language to drive home how the focus of all decisions should be the best interests of the children. A judge creating a custody order looks at the relationship that the parents have had with the children so far, their ability to support the children and even their willingness to cooperate with the other parent when they decide how to split up parenting time. If your ex is hostile toward you and tries to cut you out of the children’s lives, their actions might actually hurt their case for custody. You can’t get what you don’t ask for in court Some parents approach custody matters with a defeatist attitude. They think that they will never receive fair consideration in the courts, so they don’t even bother asking for shared custody. Those cases become examples of self-fulfilling prophecies. You can’t get custody if you don’t ask for it. You must assert your rights and show up for your children to remain a part of their lives. Keeping the focus on what is best for the children, which likely includes frequent time with you, can help you take the right steps to pursue shared custody.