3 common issues you need to know that affect military divorces

When parents with children divorce, they generally have to work out a way to share custody with each other. They either negotiate their own parenting arrangements or ask a judge to divide parental rights and responsibilities between them. Custody arrangements tend to be vastly different from one case to the next. The needs of the children, the dynamic they have with the parents and even the careers of the adults can influence how parents share responsibility for their children after a divorce. Certain family scenarios lead to far more serious co-parenting challenges. If one parent is a military servicemember, their service can create unique challenges for shared parental responsibilities. Military couples preparing for divorce may need to address the three unique concerns below when establishing a custody arrangement. Standard and deployment custody arrangements While both parents remain near one another and readily accessible, shared custody is easy to facilitate. The non-military spouse and servicemember can regularly exchange custody. They can both be present for important events. When the military spouse faces deployment or must travel for specialized training, their standard custody arrangements may no longer work. The parents may need to specifically establish separate plans for during deployment and when both parents are near each other. The need for virtual visitation During deployments or training, a service number may not be in the same country or time zone as their children. They may spend months far from home and unable to physically spend time with their children. During that time, virtual visitation via video conferencing software can help preserve the bond that they have with their children. The family’s deployment custody arrangements often need to include rules for virtual visitation, regular phone calls and even letter writing. A combination of different communication methods can help a military servicemember stay actively involved with their children. The emotional needs of the children Divorce and shared custody are difficult for children even in the simplest of scenarios. When they have to also experience lengthy disruptions to the family schedule because of a parent’s military service, they may have a hard time healing. Support groups and therapy may be necessary to help children and young adults handle the strong emotions that arise because of their current family circumstances. Parents may have to arrange ahead of time to secure counseling services or otherwise access support. They can agree ahead of time to provide the children with certain forms of support should they struggle. A couple that plans ahead of time can negotiate for custody arrangements that truly address the unique needs of their family. Recognizing how military service can complicate custody arrangements can help parents address predictable challenges.

As the spouse of a U.S. military member, you have for years relied on certain benefits just like all others who are married to members of the armed forces. Health care benefits are among the most critical. However, now that you and your spouse go through a divorce, you wonder whether you may still be able to have access to certain benefits. This worries you. Well, you will continue to have benefits as long as you qualify under the 20/20/20 rule. Continue to get certain military-related benefits Under this rule, the former spouses of military members may continue to have access to medical coverage through Tricare – the U.S. Department of Defense’s military health care system – along with on-base shopping privileges at exchanges and commissaries. In addition, former spouses also may qualify for certain retirement benefits. Explaining the rule But what is the 20/20/20 rule? And how does one qualify for it? Any former spouse of a military member will qualify for specific benefits as long as these three critical components are in place: The couple must have been married for at least 20 years. The enlisted spouse must have served a minimum of 20 years of military service, creditable toward retirement. The spouse’s military service and the couple’s marriage must overlap for a minimum of 20 years By understanding the details of the 20/20/20 rule you will gain some peace of mind. Make sure you qualify As your long-term commitment to this relationship ends, you must protect yourself. Throughout this marriage, you have made many sacrifices through cross-country and global relocations, career adjustments and explanations to your children. The 20/20/20 rule represents the protection you need as long as you qualify.

Virginia is home to many active-duty military personnel who get married and start to raise families. Like civilian couples, some of those marriages end in divorce. Military marriages can be especially troublesome when one spouse is deployed for long periods of time. Military personnel are also on call at all times, including Christmas and birthdays. The pressures of maintaining a military career might contribute to the downfall of a marriage, but military service should never be used to deny parental rights and equitable distribution of marital assets. Military subject to state and federal divorce laws A military divorce can be especially complicated due to Virginia and federal divorce laws both applying. While many people are relatively familiar with how state-level divorces proceed, the special regulations of the federal laws governing military divorce are less known. Generally, federal law will apply to assets, such as military pensions, while state law applies to child custody. Federal courts can decide jurisdiction A military divorce court also can choose which jurisdiction will apply. One spouse might live in Virginia while another resides in some other location. The federal court would have precedence in choosing which locale will handle the divorce and which state laws will apply in addition to the federal divorce laws for military personnel. Once the local jurisdiction is chosen, the divorce can proceed without any actual court appearances. The divorcing spouses can negotiate through respective attorneys and reach agreements instead of appearing in court. Support more likely for a military spouse The nature of military service often means that a divorcing spouse will need to relocate often and might not have income. Spousal support is generally ordered more often in a military divorce for that reason and can put a greater burden on active military personnel. An experienced military divorce attorney in the greater Richmond area may review your case and help to ensure that your rights are upheld.