When parents with children divorce, they generally have to work out a way to share custody with each other. They either negotiate their own parenting arrangements or ask a judge to divide parental rights and responsibilities between them.
Custody arrangements tend to be vastly different from one case to the next. The needs of the children, the dynamic they have with the parents and even the careers of the adults can influence how parents share responsibility for their children after a divorce. Certain family scenarios lead to far more serious co-parenting challenges.
If one parent is a military servicemember, their service can create unique challenges for shared parental responsibilities. Military couples preparing for divorce may need to address the three unique concerns below when establishing a custody arrangement.
Standard and deployment custody arrangements
While both parents remain near one another and readily accessible, shared custody is easy to facilitate. The non-military spouse and servicemember can regularly exchange custody. They can both be present for important events. When the military spouse faces deployment or must travel for specialized training, their standard custody arrangements may no longer work. The parents may need to specifically establish separate plans for during deployment and when both parents are near each other.
The need for virtual visitation
During deployments or training, a service number may not be in the same country or time zone as their children. They may spend months far from home and unable to physically spend time with their children. During that time, virtual visitation via video conferencing software can help preserve the bond that they have with their children. The family’s deployment custody arrangements often need to include rules for virtual visitation, regular phone calls and even letter writing. A combination of different communication methods can help a military servicemember stay actively involved with their children.
The emotional needs of the children
Divorce and shared custody are difficult for children even in the simplest of scenarios. When they have to also experience lengthy disruptions to the family schedule because of a parent’s military service, they may have a hard time healing. Support groups and therapy may be necessary to help children and young adults handle the strong emotions that arise because of their current family circumstances. Parents may have to arrange ahead of time to secure counseling services or otherwise access support. They can agree ahead of time to provide the children with certain forms of support should they struggle.
A couple that plans ahead of time can negotiate for custody arrangements that truly address the unique needs of their family. Recognizing how military service can complicate custody arrangements can help parents address predictable challenges.